This is the part where you find out who you really are.
When you feel like quitting think about why you started.
Life is full of setbacks.
Yes.... it's good to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again. But constantly moving forward without reflection could lead to making the same mistake over and over again.
On the DECISION POINTS circle this is the mired-in-the-mud and going-nowhere-fast place. (Points 4 to 6) It's the place where we need to be honest with our self - be true to our core values - not the core values of our BFF, our parents, our therapist, or our significant other. It's where we need to grab a pen and paper, sit still, be alone, dig deep, and answer these important questions:
Where am I?
How did I get here?
What do I really want?
What about my desire/want is important to me?
What do I need to do to get what I want?
Oh yes, on question 3... dig deep. In other words the answer is not "To be happy." And question 5: You may not think you know the answer to this questions but you do... That's where honesty comes in.
Don't wait for everything to fall into place before you move forward. Move forward and everything will fall into place.
Life has two ways of testing our will. The first is by making nothing happen at all. The second is by having everything happen at once. In the first case we feel as though we are moving at a snail's pace, if we are moving at all. On the other end of the spectrum, changes are happening fast, furious and all at once. Either way, we feel as though life is falling apart faster than we can pick up the pieces and put them back together again.
Whether your life is calm or calamitous, as life transforms keep in mind that:
Even Giants Cry. Tears are a natural and sometimes spontaneous release of emotions are the best thing for us. Whether its tears of frustration, hurt, sadness, anger, joy or loss... Tears express that we are human. We feel. We love. We care. It's always okay to shed a tear.
Life Locks: It's a drag but it happens. There will be times when you feel stuck in the mud, working hard and going nowhere. Other times you'll take one step forward and three steps back. But remember, the wheels are in motion; you are working hard! You took ONE step forward! This is motion, motion is action, and it is through action that you will eventually get out of a rut and into your groove.
Opportunity is Always Knocking:Are you listening? Is your door open? Do you see the vista before you? Or do you close the door shut and make excuses for remaining where you are? You have a choice: You can complain and remain or you can replace excuses with effort; laziness with learning; postponement with persistence. Changing one thing will change everything. Before you know it, a new day will dawn and everything will fall into place.
You're always one decision away from a totally different life.
I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change, I am changing the things I cannot accept.
You only have control over three things in your life - the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take.
I remember the day a friend talked me into signing up for a marathon. I also remember the day she dropped out of the run. I had a choice to make. I could stay put or I could turn off the computer, lace up my shoes and meet up with a team of women to train for a 26.2 mile run. I learned a lot:
Action Changes Things.
The first step takes courage. The beginning is half of the action. From this point on you will know, for the rest of your life, that you ventured outside of your comfort zone. You will know that you either "did" or you "did not" continue forward to create a totally different life for yourself.
The second step takes commitment. You may be out on a limb - so far out that you're afraid of falling out of the tree - but the second step forward means that you realize that going back will always be filled with "what if's" and "if only". So you take a risk. Sometimes you fail (some runs are better than others) but most of the time you feel better for branching out.
The third step is a mindset. You're ready and willing for a new challenge. You may not feel ready. You may not look ready. You may not even be ready. But none of that matters because mentally you are ready. You intuitively know that the time is now.
The forth step is perseverance. Taking action is tough. Taking action hurts. But you persevere because you have your goal in mind and you know the steps you need to take to reach the end and even if you can't see the Finish Line you know it's there - just around the next bend.
The fifth step is looking UP because when you look down every stone in your path looks like a bolder; every crack in the sidewalk looks like a gaping menace; every rain shower looks like a potential downpour; every ache and pain feels like a reason not to go on. Look up, breathe easier, and the obstacles disappear.
You'll make new friends. Wonderful. Marvellous. Fun. Inspiring. Life changing. And all of this will happen because you took action and action changes things.
1. Visualize Your Goal. 2. Put Pen to Paper. 3. Write THE List. 4. Start Walking! 5. Mark Your Progress. 6. Celebrate Your Success.
The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
You may not know it from this photo, but when this pictures was snapped this little guy was moving - and fast. He had a goal in mind (catching up with mom) and nothing was going to get in the way!
Success is falling down nine times and getting up ten."
Jon Bon Jovi
Put Pen to Paper: Dream big. Use an anything-is-possible attitude. While it's true that goals need to be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Focused) they also need to aim for stars. Be witty, wonderful, and wildly optimistic!
Write THE List: Can you imagine baking a cake without a recipe? Neither can I. A recipe provides clear instructions to achieve a successful outcome. Your well-defined list of steps to achieve your goal will set the course that you need to follow. Your list is a reminder that you are headed in the right direction: To the Finish Line!
Mark Your Progress: Make a note of every step forward. Seeing that you've made progress will boost your spirits and steel your resolve, especially when you experience the inevitable failures, setbacks and obstacles that litter the road to success.
Visualize Your Outcome: Take a few moments each day mentally visualizing yourself reaching your goal. Seeing positive outcomes in your mind's eye spurs mental and physical momentum. As you move forward you will gain focus and be able to adjust your path.
Celebrate Your Success: In running we say medals matter. A medal acknowledges you reached the Finish Line. Celebrate reaching your goal. After all, you set out to do something and you did it!
Enough Already. If you're about to pick up the phone and lament to friend... Forget about it.
Move. Get up. Go to an exercise class. Run. Jump. Skip. Sing, Dance, Hop. Physical movement will take your mind off your thoughts - guaranteed!
Take Twenty:Are you still festering? Sit alone for 20 minutes with pen and paper at hand. Write a list solutions to your problem (yes, they can be preposterous). Chances are your last ideas will be your best ideas. Break the Habit. Do you hit rewind/play? Do you repeat the same scenes in your mind again and again? If so hit the STOP button.
Believe. Trust in yourself. You have the confidence, ability, stamina, strength and resilience to deal with anything!
Sir Anthony Hopkins, film, stage and television actor, once said,"We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It's a death trap."
I'm not sure about the deathtrap part but I do agree that I have been guilty of spending too much time thinking things through and not enough time doing the things I think about.
On of the reasons we overthink is fear. The fear of being blamed. The fear of making the wrong decision. The fear of going out on a limb and falling off the tree - whatever our personal peccadillo is, overthinking boils down to a lack of self-confidence.
Overthinking is a time and energy sucker. It creates problems that were never there. It leaves people spinning their wheels but staying in place. It leads to anxiety, stress, frustration, regrets, and depression... blah!